The Brothers GrimsbyBook - 2016
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A few less offensive:
We have seven billion people running around on a planet... that can only hold five. I'm just trying to make the world a better place, that's all. By deleting the surplus. "Cure the world."
-And whom, exactly, do you intend to "delete"?
The garbage. The imbeciles who lie around drunk, reproducing like rabbits. And sitting there with their hand out, expecting the rest of us to pay. And let's be frank, who's gonna miss them anyway?
So we're scum, are we? Well, let me tell you something about scum: It's scum who built the hospitals
that are now closing down. ... It's scum who die in the wars started by the bastards in charge. ... It's scum that keep the Fast and Furious franchise alive. ... So I ask you to join with us now... and storm that pitch ... and show the world that scum cannot be washed away, ever.
Time to say goodbye to your... hideous pig wife.
-Let me give you some advice, Ukrainian Ben Affleck. Never ever slag off a Grimsby lass.
How do you know if England... are gonna be in the final?
-They'd better be because I just got this done. England, World "Champions," 2016.
That says 200016.
-No, it says 2000 and 16.
That's 198,000 years from now.
-In that case, I got two zeroes for free, so who's the idiot?
Why are you so out of breath?
- I've run all the way from home.
But you only live across the street.
But if you can't trust family, who can you trust?
-Trust you? Trust you? Because of you, the head of the World Health Organisation is dead and Harry Potter has AIDS. You managed to do in three seconds what Voldemort failed to do in eight movies!
Ooh, I'm getting stiffer than a pedophile at Legoland.
Nobby, meet the head of the biggest crime syndicate in the world.
- What, she runs FIFA?
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